days – nights like these i rethink the job choices i have made. Ok writing hasn’t been something i considered 20 years ago, and even though changes among the way, i have never been more in doubt about what i want to do. Enough though – to pay the bills and get past the month and … for the most important part, something that truly makes me happy.
I wish i was more consistent in life.
Being in this situation depresses me, although i have lots of love around me and a beautiful place to call my home, i am still missing the motivation of every day life. People these days only seem to care for themselves, always thriving for better and more… Somehow that makes me revaluate the people i have in mine. Job wise – the people, or “Customers” how the special jargon calls them, are often rude and demanding. Some are thankful and some are in a place i never want to be.
If you can’t get away from it all after you get home – this is not the right job !
Bringing me back to those thoughts of doubt and frustration. I always keep in mind that i am not the person that makes laws, i can not change their lives, nor can i satisfy everyone. At the end of the day, nobody cares what the Customer wanted – it’s the effective calls which conclusively dealt with, that count… and even that is not enough. Society sickens me. That is why i often choose and cherish the times i have to myself. People who don’t feel the urge for this mood – will never understand it.
I have never been a person with many needs, needless to say – give me some time for myself and i will recharge those batteries and go on with life. Never has it been so hard to keep the thought alive – it will all go on, and it will be alright.
The season change is something that really excites me. Autumn has alway been my favorite season !
Send me to a far away place near the woods and i am a happy person. I feel like a dreamer at this point, which sets me back again, but what is the purpose of it all if you can’t dream ?!